An Auto-Matic Massage

After grappling with a ridiculously hard integral calculus assignment for over two hours, Confused Urban Desi (CUD) is now feeling mediocre and insignificant. So CUD has decided to blog about something as mediocre and insignificant (although sort of cool) as CUD himself – the ubiquitous Auto Rickshaw. Two years ago, CUD was uninitiated to the fine art of riding an auto rickshaw and surviving the trip with one’s temper (and spinal column) intact.

The suspension of an auto rickshaw, which is conspicuous by it’s absence, causes reactions ranging from a soft, gentlemanly/ladylike curse in one’s native language to a very loud “BEH*****D !!!” depending on one’s degree of preparedness for the pothole that is certain to be experienced within ten seconds of climbing aboard. As one gets used to it, though, it becomes easier and easier to maintain the illusion of refinement in one’s speech.
Now telling people off for bad language is fun but CUD is far too smart to leave it at that.
He has now discovered that there is an excellent reason behind auto rickshaw suspensions being so bad – it is to give you a massage after a not-so-good day! Had a breakup? Chill! Just ride an auto. Pathetic marks in exams? Hakuna Matata! An auto massage will relax you. Lost your job in the recession? Well you’ll have to start using auto rickshaws soon anyway, so why not start now?

With special posture techniques and advanced skills, a ride in the humble auto can be very thereupatic. Here’s an extract from CUD’s new book in the subject

…sit with your torso inclined at a 45 degree angle to your legs, which should be parallel to the seat. In this position, every shock is transmitted to the lower part of the vertebral column and benefits include…

Did you really think CUD was going to tell you the super secret benefits free of charge?
Buy the book here :

http://www.this-book-is-hypergalactically-cool-and-expensive.net/

If the site does not exist, the book is sold out and you missed your chance! But hey, don’t be sad. Just get an auto massage and you’ll be good in no time at all. Uh huh!

Hello world!

Sounds nice and globalized, doesn’t it? Yep guys, welcome to the blog of a this particular IBCD (Indian Born Confused Desi, stoopid). Now just why am I so confused ? Sounds nice and globalized, doesn’t it? Yep guys, welcome to the blog of this particular IBCD (Indian Born Confused Desi, stoopid). Now just why am I an IBCD ?

You see, the ordinary ABCD is a person who’s at odds with two cultures. Should s/he be all-desi? Should s/he be all-American (or European or Australian or Equatoguinean – you get the idea)? I have never lived abroad long enough to feel any such problem.

The problem I face is within. I am at odds with my own culture because I have no idea what this culture is! Having grown up in a liberal, yuppy, upper-middle class urban clique, I find myself at odds with my current place of residence – a small Rajasthani town at the Madhya Pradesh border . I find many things in small town India astonishing and novel! Open drainage systems, beautiful local crafts, innovative moneymaking solutions, the peoples’ optimistic attitudes in the bleakest of circumstances and the whole texture of the place combine to cause my jaw to remain permanently open!

Our economic expansion has caused the creation of many, many Indias. I belong to one such India. My neighbour belongs to another. Which India is better to live in is anyone’s guess!

Weird, eh? Just confusing to me.